Despite criticism from liberals for its laissez-faire approach to COVID-19, Florida has been “booming,” according to CNN, and the state’s success is “a vindication for their policies.” Governor Ron DeSantis bragged that Florida drew a straight flush of pandemic outcomes: “open schools, comparatively low unemployment, and per capita COVID mortality below the national average.” If you tracked the digital murmurings of Silicon Valley elites, no city in the United States seemed hotter than Miami for the billionaire set. A casual glance at any photographic representation of South Florida made it seem like a pre-pandemic haven of packed bars, sunny beaches, and beautiful people leading the sort of carefree life that a northeastern urbanite shut-in like myself could experience only in the REM stage of sleep.