In recent months, pundits and politicians developed a sudden interest in what men want. Throughout this election cycle, splashy news stories theorized how young men would vote and detailed attempts from both presidential candidates to court them, from palling around with popular podcasters to donning campaign-branded camo caps.
Many commentators predictably concluded that it was the inescapable flaws of men that led them to vote as exit polls suggested they did in 2024. But even before those first votes were cast, some in the media incredulously asked, “What’s the matter with young male voters?”
As the president of an organization representing 4 million men, including more than 250,000 male college students, I welcome this long overdue conversation about young men in America.
While political reporters and operatives may be new to this reality, social scientists have been sounding the alarm for several years that, even if their despair remains unexpressed, many men are truly struggling. In his 2022 book Of Boys and Men, Richard Reeves explains that, according to quality-of-life metrics, boys and men are lagging significantly behind their female counterparts, from academic success to economic mobility.
The statistics are staggering. According to Reeves, only about one-third of the top 10 percent of high school graduates are male, while boys comprise two-thirds of the bottom 10 percent. When Title IX was enacted in 1972, there was a 13 percent gap favoring men in the attainment of college degrees. Now, the trend is reversed, as 15 percent fewer men earn college degrees compared to women.
As success in school drifts further out of reach for many men and boys, their relationships are suffering, too. In 1990, just 3 percent of men reported not having a single close friend. Today, 15 percent of men say they have no friends, a 500 percent increase in just three decades. Experts point to a variety of factors, including the rise of online culture, for this so-called “loneliness epidemic.” But no matter its origin, young men seem to be disproportionately affected by it, and they are four times more likely to commit suicide than young women.
Complicating matters is the deeply unfair cultural narrative that men are a menace, both individually and collectively. Slapping the label of “toxic masculinity” upon the problems facing them instead of properly understanding them has done nothing to help the males in this country who have felt unheard, unjustly condemned or left behind.
Thanks to these convergent factors, many men feel isolated and uncertain about their futures. The ripple effect can be felt throughout their families, their schools, their workplaces, and their communities. Extensive research demonstrates that neither men nor women benefit when America’s males fall short of their potential.
Unfortunately, genuine concern for the plight of men and boys is often met with accusations of chauvinism or a disregard for the needs of women. But, because the consequences of these challenges so greatly affect men and women alike, what happens to men must matter to us all – and it must matter beyond election year pandering.
Though the pace is slow, there is some progress in addressing these issues. Colleges and universities are actively recruiting male students to address what has become at many schools a near 20-point gender enrollment gap. Organizations are forming to address structural elements causing the educational imbalances tilted against men. Society is slowing shifting away from talking at men to talking with them about how to actualize their potential.
But perhaps the best answer to what men need is the simplest one: each other.
Since the dawn of time, men have organized themselves into groups to learn, to work and to socialize. They have been led by older men – fathers, brothers, friends – who have helped them become who they needed to be. They have been a source of guidance, support, and accountability for each other.
Over the past several centuries, single-sex organizations, like fraternities, have been especially useful ways for men to help each other grow intellectually, professionally, and personally. Amid the trials facing today’s young men, such groups have never been more important.
Even as so many of their classmates struggle, fraternity men are thriving. They consistently report high levels of peer connection and a sense of belonging. Studies confirm that fraternity members have lower anxiety and depression levels, are more likely to stay in school after their freshman year, are more likely to engage with diverse viewpoint conversations and are more likely to embark on successful careers after graduation. These benefits are particularly true for first generation students and those from disadvantaged backgrounds.
That’s because all men need spaces where they can be men. This natural inclination toward community persists regardless of college attendance or traditional fraternity membership. And in this tense cultural climate, it’s no surprise that men go places where they can feel supported, encouraged, and challenged in constructive ways.
The media and analysts parsing the impact of men on the 2024 election must not forget that they count for more than their votes. Politicians offering policy prescriptions must recognize that even the best-intentioned proposals are no substitute for organic human connection. And everyone claiming they now care about young men must first learn how.
They would be wise to begin by asking those of us who already do it well.
Judson Horras is the president of the North American Interfraternity Conference.
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